Alexander the Great, according to The Chart of Alexander’s Legacy ~ various sources, He conquered two million square miles of land by death. Oh yeah by the way did I mention in the process he killed tons of people. He’s so nice he also decided to sell some thirty thousand people into slavery.1 Not a very nice “god”.2 Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you he also convinced all of Egypt into thinking he was a god.2 Maybe the guy was just messing with him. In my eyes a crown with two horns is what a devil would wear.2 Just me though, right… Okay maybe not…
Sources:Peter Green, Alexander of Macedonia, University of California,19911
History Alive! The Ancient World2
I have interesting question, why does a guy who killed thousands get “Great” in his title, and I don’t?1 If you have to kill a bunch of people to get “Great” in your title then I’m surely not planning on adding “Great” to my title. I’ll keep how it is. In Alexander’s Empire ~ Map created from various sources, he has eleven towns named Alexandria, of course after himself.
I don’t even need one town to live. Options, options. Kill people, or own eleven towns. I’m never getting “Great” in my title! He’s just power hungry… Oh oh oh, he can be Alexander the Power-Hungry! Let’s try that out…
Alexander isn’t just used to winning, he is so used to winning that when he doesn’t win he gets angry. Tyre hold up for seven months against his forces (impressive, right?) that when he finally got in his soldiers attacked with “savage relish”.1 Tyre’s main enemy for centuries past, Sidon, decided to save fifteen thousand Tyranians. Alexander’s troops were so raging they attacked so savagely that Tyre’s nemesis decided to save their enemy!1 If at this point you still think Alexander the Great is a good person, he has done lots of other bad things….
I personally don’t think he deserves that title. Let’s compare… Alexander the Great: wants to take over the world because he is so great and smart. Evil villain from a cartoon: wants to take over the whole world because he/she is so great, and a genius. They sound very alike, maybe the same even, but no. One is a real guy, one is fake but gets stopped. Alexander spent eight years conquering from Egypt to India, simply because he was greedy and wanted more land.3
Alexander thought he needed more land, and then he thought some more wouldn’t hurt. And then he ruled Egypt to India...
Source: Alexander’s Empire ~ Map created from various sources3
Alexander the Great sold thirty thousand people into slavery...1 Well, um, he could have killed them?1 Yep, that is him being nice. “I’ll be nice for a change… General, chain them up and go sell them in Alexandria as slaves.”1 I need to tell you a story about Alexander. To put it short: Alexander is on a boat, his hat flies away, a guy grabs it, he gets beheaded.4 Don’t worry, he was paid for his deed first….4 The guy wore the hat to prevent it from getting wet, but since it was Alexander’s royal hat they had to kill him!4 Alexander the Great, ways to get killed. You can A, not surrender your town, or B, wear his hat.4 Maybe if he’s having a good day you’ll get sold into slavery instead!1
Source: Lucius Flavius Arrianus, The campaigns of Alexander, circa 130 CE.4
Alexander the great, a “great” man who conquered two million square miles of land out of greed.4 On his journey he had men rage about not winning, and sold thirty thousand people into slavery.1 He killed many people, un-surrendering cities, and people who tried to wear his hat died.4 He took over all the way from Egypt to India, and ended up with a really misleading name... 3 Oh, that’s not the suprising part, it’s that we call him great. He is so great that he justs wants more land. Wait, they forgot some of his name, it’s Alexander the Great(ly greedy for land). It makes a lot more sense now, I’m so glad I figured that out. He would keep taking land, oh, he’s dead… I will forever look up to him… Oh, he’s evil, nevermind...
